Thursday, May 31, 2012

Mulching Anger


Stirling Times: Residents angry as mulch ends up in local lake

At least we assume they're angry.

Spotter's Badge: David

Firefighter anger


Basildon Recorder: Man's fury at fine for refusing to move car for firefighters on 999 call

...and he gets a righteous kicking in the comments

Spotter's Badge: Dan, Barry

Tesco ban anger



Coventry Telegraph: Teens banned from supermarket after problems with shoplifting

I have a solution. Maybe Tesco should let them in but only if they fold their arms as demonstrated beautifully in this article.

Spotter's Badge: Rob, Gary

Cricket club anger


Manchester Evening News: Cricket club vows to bounce back after vandals destroy facilities

Also, you have a cricket bat which may be improved with a breeze block nail to it. Not that we're implying anything

Spotter's Badge: Maria

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Dull News in Local Newspapers


Cambridge News: Woman claims her friend looked a bit like the Queen

No, she doesn't.

Essex Echo: Girl largely unhurt after not being run over by moped

Spotter's Badges (Dull Edition): Mark, Martin

Actual river of crap anger


Westerham Chronicle: Concern at overflowing sewer near to school

Awww, let the kiddiwinks build their boats, you killjoys

Spotter's Badge: Rob

Cockroach anger


Coventry Telegraph: Man finds cockroach in supermarket bananas

It's OK, it wouldn't have eaten any. It only cares for ...er... human flesh

Spotter's Badge: Rob

School places anger


Sheffield Star: Anger as number of primary school places is slashed

Starting them young in Sheffield

Spotter's Badge: Maggi

Supermarket anger


Newmarket Journal: Plans for new Sainsbury's rejected despite offer of new facilities for school

Oh, WELL done

Spotter's Badge: Dave

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Smashed-up gym anger


Lancashire Telegraph: Fury as yobs smash up outdoor gym

Angry mole is angry

Spotter's Badge: Karen

Road works anger


Liverpool Echo: Residents' fury as cars towed away to allow road works to start

And the total amount of sympathy shown by the commentards: Square root of bugger all

Also: "I'd help fill in her long, deep furrow"

Lead theft anger, again


Bournemouth Echo: Reverend’s 'outrage' as lead thieves target Bournemouth church again

Forgive them, padre. Forgive them TO DEATH

Spotter's Badge: Nick

Garage planning application anger


Bucks Free Press: Anger as garage owner puts in third application to change business into a jet wash

We always like a bit of formation arm-folding

Spotter's Badge: Morag

Monday, May 28, 2012

Dull News in Local Newspapers


Bournemouth Echo: Bournemouth grinds to a halt as woman finds 'face of God' in mixing bowl

Sorry, I'm getting Chewbacca, with hints of Bez.

York Press: OAP trapped in deckchair for six hours

NOT a laughing matter. OK, it is

Spotter's Badge: Andy

Phone mast anger, yet again


Lancashire Telegraph: Shopkeeper's fury at perfect mobile phone reception

I'd give her a big pole to moan about

Spotter's Badge: Karen

Dog poo glitter anger


Isle of Thanet Gazette: Masked avengers sprinkle dog poo with glitter

What? They're WHAT?

Spotter's Badge: Rob

Flooding plain anger


Oxford Mail: Housing plans spark a - oh-ho! - flood of complaints

"Go on - stand in the water, it'll make a great photo"

"But... I'll get wet"

"DO IT"

Data privacy anger


Kingston Guardian: Anger as council accused of privacy breach

Never fear: The fashion police have been called

Spotter's Badge: Tim

Sunday, May 27, 2012

School purple hair anger


Coventry Telegraph: Girl isolated at school after 'accidentally' dying her hair purple

New category: Human Rights Whingers, because I felt like it

Spotter's Badge: Rob

Rubbish collection anger


Hull Daily Mail: Family threatens to stop paying council tax until bins are emptied

Take THAT, The Man

Spotter's Badge: L0wey

Bike rack anger


Brighton Argus: Residents fuming at council plans to install bike racks

The area in question being known locally as "Muesli Hill"

Open manhole anger


Essex Echo: Angry kid is angry over open manhole on path

Top "think of the kiddiwinks" reporting

Spotter's Badge: Barry

Saturday, May 26, 2012

Town green NIMBY anger


Oxford Mail: Group wins campaign to save public open space, dismayed to find it open to the public

Oh, the humanity

Spotter's Badge: Mark

Garden flooding anger


Reading Evening Post: Action demanded as flood water hits homes

But they've got a water slide. What more do they want?

Spotter's Badge: Tanya

Class size anger


Edinburgh Evening News: Parents furious as children denied place at school

"I'd give her some one-to-one tuition"

Spotter's Badge: Caroline

ASBO anger


Essex Echo: Police in Southend launch campaign against yobs

Southend-on-Sea? South-End-Of-Days, more like.

Spotter's Badge: Barry

Friday, May 25, 2012

Dangerous junction anger


Portsmouth News: Man convinced new mini roundabout is a death trap

Dark glasses in the rain. Smooth operator.

Spotter's Badge: Jon

Stolen scooter anger


Scarborough Evening News: Teenager charged £150 by police for return of stolen scooter, only to find it destroyed by thieves

Golf clap for North Yorks Police

Spotter's Badge: Suzanne

Runny bottom anger


Northern Echo: Taxi driver fined over toilet break

Never thought I'd have sympathy for a taxi driver...

Spotter's Badge: Nick

Car towed away anger


Portsmouth News: Man's car goes missing after being towed away by clampers

Serves him right for parking it under a football goal

Spotter's Badge: Jon

Thursday, May 24, 2012

Drunken shopper anger


Cambridge News: Shop boss urges other stores to stand up to drunken customers

"I'd Gift Aid her something"

Spotter's Badge: Mark

CCTV camera anger


Dorset Echo: Woman, 90, furious as CCTV camera erected outside her bedroom window

Heh. I said "erected".

Allotment vandalism anger


Cambridge News: Family's fury as hoons wreck allotment

Yeah, scumbags

Spotter's Badge: Sarah

Bad e-fit


Reading Evening Post: Police search for pair of distraction burglars

"I only saw him the once," said the witness, "reflected in the back of a spoon"

Don't have nightmares

Spotter's Badge: Andrew

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Unwanted tree anger


Epping Forest Guardian: Preservation order means man can't chop down unwanted tree

As one commenter points out - he needs more shade in his garden on account of his gingerness. Cruel.

Spotter's Badge: Beth

Sewage works anger


Essex Echo: Trader fears long-running sewer works will ruin her business

"I'd ruin her..." ...naaah, got nothing.

Spotter's Badge: Barry

Bad e-fit


Bournemouth Echo: OAP left shaken after burglary

Nice cut-and-paste job

Don't have nightmares

New homes anger


Burnham-on-Sea.com: Plans for 95 new riverside homes 'will put a strain on infrastructure'

I'd put a strain on her infrastructure...

Spotter's Badge: Marcus

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Invasion of the Body Snatchers Anger


Reading Evening Post: Phone mast erected in the wrong place for more than a year

For some reason, the Post's photo reminds me of this:

Uncanny, eh?

Law School Anger


Melbourne Age: Student sues school after failing to qualify to study law

Yeah, good luck with that

Spotter's Badge: AMuseD

Restaurant break-in anger


Essex Echo: Thief smashes window to rob local eaterie

"And see this? When I catch you, it's going up your bum"

Spotter's Badge: Barry

Hat theft anger


Dorset Echo: Anger as 'heartless' thieves steal woolen hats from gate guardians

Looks like it might have been the Taste Police

Water leak anger


Reading Evening Post: Residents frustrated over long-running water leak

Look on the bright side - it's not water with floaters

Monday, May 21, 2012

Won't anybody think of the kiddiwinks anger


Worcester News: Newly installed riverside lights 'could harm children's eyesight'

No. No, they won't

Spotter's Badge: Bozza

Lonely Brownie Anger


Blackpool Gazette: Rebecca fed up after finding herself the only member of Brownie pack

Aww, bless

Disabled permit anger


Reading Evening Post: Woman appeals fine for using out-of-date disabled parking badge because ...err... HEY! look at this!

Yeah, good luck with that

Lorry toilet anger


Bicester Advertiser and Review: Locals shocked - SHOCKED - to discover that free bottles of shandy found at roadside are not actually shandy

I'd fill her "bottle" with "waste products"

Sunday, May 20, 2012

Postage stamp anger


Essex Echo: Shopkeeper rumbled for jumping the gun on postage stamp price increase

They need to - oh-ho - STAMP this out!!!!111!

Spotter's Badge: Barry