Sunday, October 31, 2010

Railway link anger


Get Surrey: Residents 'sold down the river' over railway link

I'd "sell her" down the "river".

Spotter's Badge: Mark

Bad E-fit


East Anglia Daily Times: Police hunt knife intruder

Come on Cameron, hand yourself in.

Don't have nightmares.

HOLIDAY HELL anger


Bournemouth Echo: Man's compensation for HOLIDAY HELL is outsized voucher for another holiday. Vexed.

He looks a bit tense. What he needs is a nice holiday.

Oh .

Saturday, October 30, 2010

Reliant Robin anger


Oxford Mail: Jeremy Clarkson entirely to blame as Reliant Robin is tipped over

Nice to see him dress to match his car.

Spotter's Badge: Suzanne

Bad e-fit


Mandurah Coastal Times: Boy knocked out in brick attack

Have you seen this brick? If you have, call the police.

Don't have nightmares.

Spotter's badge: Kim

Green belt anger


Essex Echo: Lone campaigner stands in middle of field holding up sign

"STOP! HAMMER TIME!" - The fool. Everyone knows "Hammertime" is one word.

Spotter's badge: Mark

Bedbug anger


Reading Evening Post: Mum's plea to get rid of bedbug infestation

"I'd roll her in raw alcohol and run away screaming"

Friday, October 29, 2010

Garden theft anger


Ipswich Evening Star: Mum hits out over thefts from garden

[Insert sexist comment here]

Spotter's Badge: Simon

Lolipop lady not-angry-at-alll


Edinburgh News: Campaign to keep school lollipop lady

They can't wait to get rid of her. She can't wait to leave.

Spotter's Badge: Caroline

Road crossing anger


Somewhere in Australia Guardian Express: Safety concerns as road crossing is scrapped

I'd 'scrap' her 'lollipop lady'

Spotter's Badge: Kim

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Nasty smell anger


This is East Riding: Campaigners complain over smell at rubbish tip

Epic FAIL: Why are they not holding their noses?

Spotter's Badge: Mark

Council works anger


South West Register: Residents angry after builders mess up street

"I'd mess up her street. Actually, I wouldn't."

Spotter's Badge: Mark

Yellow Line Anger


Watford Observer: Area man fumes over errant yellow lines

"Done a poo"

Spotter's Badge: TRT

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Playground anger


This is Lincolnshire: Petition is handed in over playground closure

Rule Number One Of Playground Design: Don't built it on a steep slope

Spotter's Badge: Mark

Dead pig anger


York Press: Landlady's anger as pig's head found in pub

"I'd leave my foul-smelling pork in her box"

Grave anger


Reading Evening Post: Daughter's anger as father's grave left to crumble

Random Young Ones quote:

"Do you dig graves?"

"Yeah, they're alright"

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Car clamping anger


Reading Evening Post: Mother finds kids in car does not make it immune from clampers

"Fff fff ffff!" says the kid. "Fff fff FFFFFffff!"

Spotter's Badge: Visionthing64

Return of the son of pothole anger


Bradford Telegraph and Argus: Councillor still furious over holes in road

"Done a poo"

Yellow line anger


Blackpool Gazette: Householders - oh-ho! - driven round the bend by yellow lines

"And then we'll paint some yellow lines right down the middle of the street. That'll be good for a laugh"

Stairs anger


Reading Evening Post: Woman scared to use her stairs after collapse

I turned to a regular contributor for help on this one. So:

"You can sit on my riser any day, love!"
"I'd get her upstairs."
"I'd give her a lift."
"Stair-scare mum demands house" & "I'd give her one."
"Top totty teeters and tumbles on tricky treads."
"I'd show her a stairway to heaven."
"You can wrap your hand round my balustrade any day!"

Spotter's Badge and Gold Star: TRT

Monday, October 25, 2010

Classic nose-holding anger


Edinburgh News: Man waits five years for someone else to come in and repair stinking flat

Classic nose-holding. Well done.

Spotter's Badge: Caroline

Rogue taxi anger


Bradford Telegraph and Argus: Taxi drivers fed up of rogue minicabs stealing their trade

Nothing - NOTHING - says 'Fed Up' like an angry taxi driver

FACT! All taxis and private hire cars come with their radios fixed to TalkSPORT, which explains a lot.

Fire not-angry-at-all


Edinburgh News: Couple in dramatic rooftop rescue from fire

And what better way to illustrate this than to make them go up on the roof AGAIN?

Spotter's Badge: Caroline

Currency exchange anger


Oxford Mail: Couple lose thousands as currency exchange company goes under

"At least we've still got my 80s hairdo"

Spotter's Badge: Suzanne

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Sex club anger


Manchester Evening News: Baying mob ensures that plans for couples club set to fail

Heaven forbid that people actually enjoy themselves

Spotter's Badge: Clarrie

Bomb hoax anger


Watford Observer: Bomb hoax wrecks 80s night at pub

Even though there's nothing more 80s than an IRA pub bombing

Spotter's Badge: TRT

Government cuts anger


Oxford Mail: Fears for future of local sport

"I'd bounce up and down on her"

Spotter's Badge: Suzanne

Saturday, October 23, 2010

Wheelie bin anger


This is South Devon: Woman sues council as 'unsightly' wheelie bins 'devalue property'

I'd 'devalue' her 'front garden'

Spotter's Badge: Rhys

HOLIDAY HELL anger, again


Manchester Evening News: Mum to sue over HOLIDAY HELL

I'd sue over those eyebrows, love

Spotter's Badge: Maria

Traffic chaos anger


Dorset Echo: Local traders demand public meeting, free money over road works

Jeez - just give him the cash already

Friday, October 22, 2010

HOLIDAY HELL anger


Gateshead Gazette: HOLIDAY HELL couple tell of HOLIDAY HELL

"Then Ryanair charged us a £50 plane-being-late surcharge. Each."

Council tax anger


Edinburgh News: Residents consider lynch mob as neighbour stiffs them all for a council tax rise

Classic - CLASSIC - letter-holding anger

And possibly the first news item to be nominated for these pages through its own comments thread

Spotter's Badge: Caroline, Heather

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Photo theft anger


Reading Evening Post: Mr Wolff in the dog house after thief makes off with family photos

...and it only took 10 days to notice the theft. In a Mini. We'd give him one of our Spotter's Badges, but he'd only lose it.

Car clamping anger


Southampton Daily Echo: Motorist given £1,500 car parking fine

Don't worry clampers! Once you've all been banned, you can move back into the recently de-regulated door security business.

Flooding anger


Wigan Today: Anger over flooding as repairs are delayed

Floodwater? You are, sir, having a giraffe.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

In-tent-se anger (geddit?)


Edinburgh News: Polish immigrants sick of racist attacks

"They wrote "Polish *****!" on the side of our tent with mayonnaise sauce, basically leaving our only shelter uninhabitable."

Spotter's Badge: Caroline

Dog poop anger


Waltham Forest Guardian: Parents campaign against playground dog mess

"I'd play with her puppies"

Celebrity Pothole anger


Glasgow Evening Times: Celebrity chef urges council to fill potholes

Glasgow, you disappoint me. He was standing in the middle of the road, for the love of God...

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Benefits anger


Bournemouth Echo: Family runs to the press after benefits cut, forced to eat daughter's pony

And such as shame they switched off the comments - they were the dictionary definition of "complete and utter shoeing".

Invisible pothole anger


Edinburgh News: Shop owner claims water splashed from pothole is wrecking his trade

No water. Invisible pothole. Next.

Spotter's Badge: Caroline

Christmas Tree anger


Grimsby Telegraph: Villagers upset as council refuses to pay for Christmas tree

Is it me or are the Angry People At Christmas stories getting earlier every year?

Monday, October 18, 2010

Rubbish anger


Oxford Mail: Tory councillor leaves little present behind bins as two-weekly collections rolled out

Big Society? Big Job Society, more like

Spotter's Badge: Suzanne

Playground closure anger


Streatham Guardian: Parents angry as local play scheme closes

Our spotter says: "I wouldn't mind closing her playground... as long as we can sort out a babysitter"

I am disgusted at the filth that gets onto these pages.

Spotter's Badge: Mark

Dead dog anger


Lancashire Telegraph: Dead dog found in park pond in Accrington

I'd be upset, too. There's good eating gone to waste.

Bloke on the right doesn't seem too pissed off, to be honest.

Spotter's Badge: Ian

Bathroom anger


Reading Evening Post: Grandmother 'degraded and neglected' over bathroom

I'd lock her in her bathroom and run away (not sexy slang)

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Stolen bike anger


Bournemouth Echo: Nurse's bike stolen as she worked a night shift

I'd steal her "bike" on a "night shift"

Road works anger


Dorset Echo: Pet shop owner's 'road rage' as traffic works delay deliveries

"I'd fill her bin with my wild bird seed"

Saturday, October 16, 2010

HOLIDAY HELL anger


This is Cornwall: Trip of a lifetime becomes HOLIDAY HELL

Standard crowd scene hugely improved by angry kid in foreground

Playground anger


Yellow Advertiser: Fury as vandals torch local playground

I dunno - that's the sort of mind-bending danger I would have appreciated as a kid

Friday, October 15, 2010

Borderline racist not-angry-at-all


Brighton Argus: Brighton residents pick up French TV

Bouf!

Spotter's Badge: Luke, William