Saturday, July 23, 2016

Think of the hamsters anger

Bexley News Shopper: Falling glass could have killed my hamsters TO DEEEEEATH

It didn't.

Spotter's Badge: Neil, Richard, Ian

Pointing at rubbish anger

Craven Herald: Councillor helpfully points at tonnes of building waste dumped in road

Seriously, asbestos, these people are scum.

Spotter's Badge: Karen

Friday, July 22, 2016

Empty paddling pool anger

Nottingham Post: Why is this popular paddling pool closed? What about the poor, tearful kiddiewinks?

It's got a hole in it. Next question.

Spotter's Badge: Hazel

Sick of rescuing your lawn mower anger

Southland Times: Council refuses to drag man's lawn mower out of the mud for a third time, tells him to buy a new one

Fraser's neighbour helped him to move the mower the next day. 

Well.

Spotter's Badge: Andy

Leave the kiddiewinks alone anger

Derby Telegraph: Local misery calls the police over kids playing in the street

Find out who did it and shit through his letterbox. It's the only language these curs understand.

Spotter's Badge: Mark

Thursday, July 21, 2016

Wonga wasp nest anger

Hull Daily Mail: Woman says she's taken out a doorstep loan to get rid of a wasps' nest

I think I'll be siding with the yellow buzzy bastards in this one-sided battle.

Spotter's Badge: Ian

Not a smackhead anger

Hull Daily Mail: Clean-living chap turned down by the Army after his doctor mistakenly tells them he's a drug addict

Carry on, Doctor

Spotter's Badge: Ian

Food truck battle anger

Melbourne Age: 'Stop crapping in my car park', restaurant owner urges food truck customers

"These appalling conditions have become similar to India," says man who presumably knows what he's talking about.

Spotter's Badge: Meredith

Wednesday, July 20, 2016

Goat attack anger

Bradford Telegraph and Argus: Woman left with bruised leg after being followed by a hungry goat after their shopping

A superb study in the inate horror of the human condition in the post-Brexit world.

Spotter's Badge: Pablo

Stolen defibrillator anger

Aberdeen Evening Express: Utter bonehead on the loose in NE Scotland

If they catch the culprit, can they apply it to his genitals?

Spotter's Badge: David, Steve

Phone mast think of the kiddiewinks anger

Bexley News Shopper: People living near petrol station think phone mast will give them cancer

*Nods head*

Spotter's Badge: Neil, Rob C

Tuesday, July 19, 2016

Geezer banned from Iceland anger

Barking and Dagenham Post: Dictionary definition of a geezer wants to know why he's been banned from his local Iceland supermarket

HASHTAG: JUSTICEFORGEEZERS

Ruined birthday anger

Plymouth Herald: Girl's 12th birthday 'ruined' after courier fails to deliver present on time

A bit of perspective: My 13th birthday ended up with me concussed by my sister, my next door neighbour dead at his own hand, and my present blown up by the IRA. That's ruined, you lightweights.

Spotter's Badge: Robert

Dumped fridges anger

Lancashire Telegraph: Ten old fridges dumped in back alley

A true act of generosity. Every house gets one.

Spotter's Badge: Karen

Monday, July 18, 2016

Kiddiewinks' cinema visit anger

Huddersfield Daily Examiner: Aunt's cinema treat for the kiddiewinks ends in tears after her payment card doesn't work

Never fear, this experience has taught the younglings some valuable life lessons: Life is cruel, and then you appear in the newspaper looking sad.

Spotter's Badge: Russell